A few years ago, I happened to run into a girl that I used to have a massive crush on. I’m fairly certain that she used to like me, but nothing ever came of it and eventually we lost touch with each other. So, my heart skipped a beat when I saw her at the bus stop.
“Molly?” I asked.
“Oh my God, Steven!” She ran over and gave me a huge hug. “How have you been?”
“I’m good. How are you?”
(Uh-oh, awkward silence! How do I keep the conversation going? What do I say next? Do I make a joke? Should I comment on how she looks? Think, Steve, think!!)
Continue reading An Introvert’s Guide to Talking to Women
Let’s talk about confidence.
As I was growing up, it always felt like women liked the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on someone, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything. The one piece of advice I heard over and over again for being confident was to “fake it until you make it” but that never helped me at all.
This makes it especially difficult because as men, we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. And this can mean having to step way, way out of your comfort zone, especially as an introvert. How are we supposed to be confident when it comes to dating, then?
Here are three things I learned about dating that helped me to be more confident around women.
Continue reading How to become more confident around women
Where do we go to meet women, especially after we’ve graduated college? To bars and clubs? Between the huge crowds, loud music, and obligatory drinking, they’re just not my style. And people are actually expected to find romantic connections in such an environment? Count me out! As introverts, we’d really rather just go home and read a book, do some exercise, or just watch TV instead of going out and socializing.
Unlike extroverts, we’re less likely to just “fall” into a relationship. We’re not shy people, but we can only be social for so long before we need to relax on our own again. Where do we go to find someone to date, then?
Continue reading How to meet women WITHOUT going to bars or clubs
So, how many of us enjoy going to bars and clubs? Between the huge crowds, loud music, and obligatory drinking, they’re just not my style. By the end of the night, my ears are ringing, my voice is raspy from trying to talk over the noise, and alcohol just isn’t my cup of tea. And people are actually expected to find romantic connections in such an environment? Count me out!
Heck, my idea of an awesome Friday night looks like this:
We’re not shy people. However, we use up our energy when we have to interact with other people and we can only use so much energy before we need to be alone and recharge. Personally, I tend to feel like taking a nap after I’ve been socializing with other people for a while.
Unlike extroverts, we become tired very easily after being surrounded by other people. Since we can only be social for so long before we need to go home and relax on our own, we need to be choosy about where we go to meet women.
Here are five of my favorite places to meet women as an introvert. Continue reading Five Awesome Places to Meet Women as an Introvert
The Beginner’s Guide to Asking Women Out
As an introvert, I struggled a lot when it came to trying to date women. I hadn’t even gone on my first date with a woman until I was in my twenties, whereas some of my friends just seemed to naturally fall into their perfect relationships without even trying. It just seemed like for most guys, knowing how to approach women, talk to them, and get a girlfriend was just common sense. I used to believe that it was just something that men should be able to do.
Meanwhile, I didn’t know how to go about dating or even where to learn those skills. I had no idea what you’re supposed to say to a girl you’re interested in. Are you supposed to use a pickup line? Are you supposed to impress her? How do you start a conversation and what do you say to her? Sometimes I’d hear that you need to be very bold with women. Sometimes I’d hear that you need to be very direct. And sometimes, I’d read some PUA advice that made me question my faith in humanity. I just wanted to find a compatible woman to share fun times and love, to kiss and hold hands with and experience that sense of intimacy, y’know?
Now, things are different. I learned how to talk to women and get them to go out with me. I met this wonderful girl a while back and was able to successfully ask her out. Today, we enjoy a lot of fun times together and it’s amazing to experience that love we have for each other. And I was able to accomplish all of this naturally, without becoming a jerk or an “alpha” or resorting to any of those sleazy PUA tactics – me, the introverted late bloomer!
Honestly, if I can do it then you can too! Here’s my beginner’s guide for talking to women and landing dates:
Continue reading The Beginner’s Guide to Asking Women Out