Let’s talk about confidence.

As I was growing up, it always felt like women liked the guys who were more confident and outgoing. Whenever I had a crush on someone, most of the time I would be too scared to ask her out. My mind would tell me things like “she probably already has a boyfriend,” and if I did try to talk to her then I would become super awkward and would barely even be able to say anything. The one piece of advice I heard over and over again for being confident was to “fake it until you make it” but that never helped me at all.

This makes it especially difficult because as we’re the ones who are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating. It’s up to us to take the first step and ask her out, to go for the first kiss, to ask her to be exclusive, to say the first “I love you”, and so on. This means that we’re the ones who risk being rejected or shot down.

How are we supposed to be confident in the first place if we don’t have much (or any) dating experience to begin with? It’s easier to be confident if you’ve had girlfriends in the past before or if you often go on a lot of dates. But what about those of us who don’t have any of that experience to begin with?

Here’s a quick trick I would use in order to make myself more confident. If there was a woman that I wanted to talk to, I would say this one sentence to myself:

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